Reading order
| # | Title | Published | Author | Buy on Amazon |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Vampires Don’t Wear Polka Dots | 1990 | Debbie Dadey | Buy |
| 2 | Werewolves Don’t Go to Summer Camp | 1991 | Debbie Dadey | Buy |
| 3 | Santa Claus Doesn’t Mop Floors | 1991 | Debbie Dadey | Buy |
| 4 | The Leprechauns Don’t Play Basketball | 1992 | Debbie Dadey | Buy |
| 5 | Ghosts Don’t Eat Potato Chips | 1992 | Debbie Dadey | Buy |
| 6 | Frankenstein Doesn’t Plant Petunias | 1993 | Debbie Dadey | Buy |
| 7 | Aliens Don’t Wear Braces | 1993 | Debbie Dadey | Buy |
| 8 | Genies Don’t Ride Bicycles | 1994 | Debbie Dadey | Buy |
| 9 | Pirates Don’t Wear Pink Sunglasses | 1994 | Debbie Dadey | Buy |
| 10 | Witches Don’t Do Backflips | 1994 | Debbie Dadey | Buy |
| 11 | Skeletons Don’t Play Tubas | 1994 | Debbie Dadey | Buy |
| 12 | Cupid Doesn’t Flip Hamburgers | 1995 | Debbie Dadey | Buy |
| 13 | Gremlins Don’t Chew Bubble Gum | 1995 | Debbie Dadey | Buy |
| 14 | Monsters Don’t Scuba Dive | 1995 | Debbie Dadey | Buy |
| 15 | Zombies Don’t Play Soccer | 1995 | Debbie Dadey | Buy |
| 16 | Dracula Doesn’t Drink Lemonade | 1995 | Debbie Dadey | Buy |
| 17 | Elves Don’t Wear Hard Hats | 1995 | Debbie Dadey | Buy |
| 18 | Martians Don’t Take Temperatures | 1996 | Debbie Dadey | Buy |
| 19 | Gargoyles Don’t Drive School Buses | 1996 | Debbie Dadey | Buy |
| 20 | Wizards Don’t Need Computers | 1996 | Debbie Dadey | Buy |
| 21 | Cyclops Doesn’t Roller-Skate | 1996 | Debbie Dadey | Buy |
| 22 | Mummies Don’t Coach Softball | 1996 | Debbie Dadey | Buy |
| 23 | Angels Don’t Know Karate | 1996 | Debbie Dadey | Buy |
| 24 | Dragons Don’t Cook Pizza | 1997 | Debbie Dadey | Buy |
| 25 | Bigfoot Doesn’t Square Dance | 1997 | Debbie Dadey | Buy |
| 26 | Mermaids Don’t Run Track | 1997 | Debbie Dadey | Buy |
| 27 | Bogeymen Don’t Play Football | 1997 | Debbie Dadey | Buy |
| 28 | Unicorns Don’t Give Sleigh Rides | 1997 | Debbie Dadey | Buy |
| 29 | Ghouls Don’t Scoop Ice Cream | 1998 | Debbie Dadey | Buy |
| 30 | Knights Don’t Teach Piano | 1998 | Debbie Dadey | Buy |
| 31 | Phantoms Don’t Drive Sports Cars | 1997 | Debbie Dadey | Buy |
| 32 | Hercules Doesn’t Pull Teeth | 1998 | Debbie Dadey | Buy |
| 33 | Giants Don’t Go Snowboarding | 1997 | Debbie Dadey | Buy |
| 34 | Frankenstein Doesn’t Slam Hockey Pucks | 1999 | Debbie Dadey | Buy |
| 35 | Trolls Don’t Ride Roller Coasters | 1999 | Debbie Dadey | Buy |
| 36 | Wolfmen Don’t Hula Dance | 1999 | Debbie Dadey | Buy |
| 37 | Goblins Don’t Play Video Games | 1999 | Debbie Dadey | Buy |
| 38 | Ninjas Don’t Bake Pumpkin Pies | 1999 | Debbie Dadey | Buy |
| 39 | Dracula Doesn’t Rock N’ Roll | 2000 | Debbie Dadey | Buy |
| 40 | Sea Monsters Don’t Ride Motorcycles | 2000 | Debbie Dadey | Buy |
| 41 | The Bride of Frankenstein Doesn’t Bake Cookies | 2000 | Debbie Dadey | Buy |
| 42 | Robots Don’t Catch Chicken Pox | 2001 | Debbie Dadey | Buy |
| 43 | Vikings Don’t Wear Wrestling Belts | 2001 | Debbie Dadey | Buy |
| 44 | Ghosts Don’t Ride Wild Horses | 2001 | Debbie Dadey | Buy |
| 45 | Wizards Don’t Wear Graduation Gowns | 2002 | Debbie Dadey | Buy |
| 46 | Sea Serpents Don’t Juggle Water Balloons | 2002 | Debbie Dadey | Buy |
| 47 | Frankenstein Doesn’t Start Food Fights | 2003 | Debbie Dadey | Buy |
| 48 | Dracula Doesn’t Play Kickball | 2004 | Debbie Dadey | Buy |
| 49 | Werewolves Don’t Run for President | 2004 | Debbie Dadey | Buy |
| 50 | The Abominable Snowman Doesn’t Roast Marshmallows | 2005 | Debbie Dadey | Buy |
| 51 | Dragons Don’t Throw Snowballs | 2006 | Debbie Dadey | Buy |
| 52 | Leprechaun on the Loose | 2008 | Debbie Dadey | Buy |
Adventures of the Bailey School Kids ran from 1990 to 2008 across 52 books. Co-written by Debbie Dadey and Marcia Thornton Jones, the series follows a group of students at Bailey Elementary School who keep running into adults who might be monsters, mythical figures, or supernatural beings. Vampires Don’t Wear Polka Dots kicked things off with a teacher who bore a suspicious resemblance to a vampire, and the concept carried through dozens of variations.
The series title format became iconic in children’s publishing. Each book follows the pattern of “[Creature] Don’t [Activity],” from Werewolves Don’t Go to Summer Camp to Aliens Don’t Wear Braces. The humor comes from the gap between the kids’ wild suspicions and the adults’ plausible denials. The series was one of the best-selling children’s book franchises of the 1990s and led to multiple spin-off series including Bailey City Monsters, Ghostville Elementary, and the Jr. Chapter adaptations for younger readers.